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Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

Just a thought... 




The "mad black woman complex" irritates me. Its this socially accepted source of doubt that almost dehumanizes black men. In todays culture, if there is a problem, there is a black man to blame it on.  Conversely, a woman should be a man's biggest supporter, backbone, and greatest source of encouragement. If black women were really the Christian following women as they generally claim to be, they would know this. (Check out Ephesians 5 )  This blame game has made black woman look victimized, and has provided one more thing to blame black men for. Its almost like a catch 22, society doesn't expect any good of them, no one supports them to do well, and so they lack the source of motivation to do otherwise. Take a look around, alot of successful black men, have a strong, supportive woman beside him. Recognizing this does not condone or excuse domestic foul-play on a mans part or womans part, but I do see a  social correlation.  With most of black men in America spending some sort of time in jail, where were the black woman, who were supporting them to not make those bad choices. Yes there are woman struggling to raise babies on their own, but where were the mothers that could help their sisters in their times of need instead of criticizing eachother, just adding fuel to the fire to raise men that dont know how to take care of their families. 

So now that I have framed the gruesome picture of the negative trending relationship of the Black American male and female, lets relate that to a more specific issue. 

When did it become ok for a MAN to hyper- inflate this issue and market off of the "mad black woman" anger? 

Tyler Perry has created a film empire from marketing to angry black women.  I think its great to identify a womans stuggle, however, where are the films that touch on the accomplishments in the black community?  If someone would spend half of the effort used to create some sort of media source that highlighted black accomplishments, I feel like there would be an even further sense of pride and accomplishment for our people. Making movies about mad black women, is just buying in to what the old Jim Crows wanted. They wanted minorities to feel so low, that they hated themselves. 

I think as black woman, we have a responsibility of uplifting our men and we need to not be so quick to add money in the pockets of a man who claims to fully grasp a womans story.  I feel like I would feel more at ease to watch a Tyler Perry movie if he actually showed more of what the Black man's struggle is really about, rather than promoting this pretentious idea that black men are inherently bad and black women will inherently struggle. If we take charge to uplift ourselves, then I think the world will start to recognize our strengths as strengths of our own inspriation. The way black  strength as a whole is characterized is that the strengths are more of a reaction to some sort of indirect/direct struggle. Im not saying that the struggles dont exist, but it discredits our own will power.  If we invest in positivity for our own people, the would be more positive outcomes.  Some struggles are more easily prevented by not giving them attention, but there always has to be some sort of alternative to replace whatever that is. For example, if we dont want to have our sons repeating the lyrics of popular rap songs, stop buying them, and stop letting little girls characterize themselves according to them, and provide something or encourage more alternative and holistic sources of entertainment....


We need to be proud of who we are, and its about time we start showing it .



just a thought,
@sophiacamille

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

Its a unbalanced subject, that is clothed in terminology with two total different meanings, but are somehow used interchangeably.

To me, black consciousness is more of "cultural awareness". Meaning, knowing your roots, expressing your culture and sharing it with others. Black pride, if used in its polar view, can practically be synonymous with "racism". Its evoking a sense of pride in saying that one culture is better and more affluent.

I feel like it is important to know who you are to have a sense and a purpose behind your goals. I equally feel like it is important to be very proud of these things as well.

The "n" word, to me lies on this balance beam. Some people use the term freely as they feel that it lies within the parameters of "dialect", in a more of a "black pride" view. Others, on the black consciousness view, may see the "n" word, as something no one should use, given the basis of its origins.

Is either side right?

The conflict between the usage of this term has made the black pride vs black consciousness dispute even more polar sided. Its interesting to see how one term can divide a man against man... WHAT'S THE SCENARIO!?


just a thought,
@sophiacamille


Posted by sophia - - 0 comments




On my way home I realized something: the moon is a perfect symbol of my life .



I have a lot of things that have taken a toll on me withing my lifetime thus far, however, as the moon still stands whole with its multitude of craters, I too still remain in my entirety, well rounded no matter how much things have changed. All of the experiences I have had, have shaped me into the unique person I am. I just revolve in my own orbital living in sync with my own necessities and clearly aware how my actions affect my self and others.

The moon shines greater than any star in the sky. Its larger and more recognized as the stars are just fiery balls waiting to implode on themselves. I am finding this comparison reflective of the relationship i have with some people in my life now. I never make a conscious effort to outshine or outdo others for the sake of selfish self gratification, but my accomplishments of just helping others, and embracing the gift of humility that comes from it, has allowed me to not have to work so hard to be noticed. People notice me for what I do, not who I am. People who focus more on who they are, normally get really heated and worn out and eventually give up on whatever it was they were attempting to recognized for.

This doesn't mean that I am not proud of my accomplishments. I have no problem of saying so. I really am happy for all that i have done, but I am more happy knowing that my accomplishments have helped more people than just myself.

So as I am venturing on for the rest of my senior year, I am proud to move on in my process to become a member of a service sorority of like minded girls who care about maintaining a life time commitment of  helping others, and have a sense of pride in doing so.  We all have been shaped and uniquely unified into one well rounded unit, and like the moon, outshine the self centered individuals who wish they had a heart like ours.


just a thought,
@sophiacamille

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

If we all ask this question a little more, I can assure your thoughts will be more collected and your mind more rested. We often spend a lot of time spinning a movie reel in our minds of past occurrences, trying to make sense of the feelings that developed within the situation and trying to decipher the thoughts another person or others involved had. But how can we honestly move on from a situation, when we are busy thinking about what happened within it at a non-relevant time? How can we really forgive a person, if we devised our own assumptions on their unrevealed thoughts. 


We spend entirely too much trying to make sense of the things that are unknown.


For the things we really cant figure out, we apply a sense of fear. "Fear of the unknown" sounds very cliche but it is very true. We hold grudges and get defensive over things that are beyond our control or really dont need to be controlled in the first place. Our lives are an every changing kaleidescope of experiences, but the one thing that make them easier to live with is recognizing patterns and applying them. 


Our lives are entirely shaped by patterns that are learned and discovered though an array of different experiences. Most of the patterns we discover are intentional, repetitious, and can be willingly recreated. For example: talking, walking, writing, etc. These are all examples of things we have learned how to do through practice and experience and they have helped us to adapt to different things like holding a conversation and running. Each action has its own respective purpose. We learn to walk so we can run. We learn to talk so we can learn to relate. But what do we do about bad experiences?




The common thing to do when in a bad situation, is to just "forget about it".  Not to say that anything that causes stress should be avoided, however, why go through something and not identify its purpose?


Seeing purpose in the results of bad situations,relationships, and experiences,has let me see the character ive gained and the lessons learned. 


 Observing purpose in all I do has let me move past a bad situation knowing that, no matter how much I may think I lost, I gained a unique experience that can be used to relate to someone else. I gained character, and I gained a lesson learned. It makes a huge difference to keep your mind sharpened in this particular way so that when you reflect on the past bad relationships you have, your thoughts will be more oriented among positive and progressive thoughts. 


So in conclusion, if you want to better understand people, start to evaluate them by their purpose. People have played a roll in your life whether it was good or bad. It has shaped you in some way. If you cant think of a way that they have benefited you and you dont think you can gain any type of knowledge from the situation or person... move on.




Its really just that simple 




and just because, here is some robin thicke











Posted by sophia - - 2 comments



 A poetic attempt to illustrate in a slightly satirical manner on the feelings of unconditional love. 

He said he is going to love me
He will love me with my flaws and all....


I know that when I wake up
There is no make up
and I wish I could just make up this invention to somehow combat the way my hair just seems to want to go every other way than what I want it too
or maybe devise something that can prevent me from that over night drool
So that when the sunshines in the morning,
He somehow denies that look like some freakish ghoul

I really feel like a fool when we go to the movies
I wish I could hold all my emotions inside
but all love stories seem to make me cry
and he always has to bring a box of tissue on the side

Which also comes in handy in the spring
Which is a beautiful season
how ever my body chooses to differ
Im constantly sneezing
 leaving me to look far beyond chipper
 but, he sweetly tends to every little whimper

I appreciate that he doesn't laugh when I get my shirt caught in my zipper
and how he always has a hand waiting on me when trip over my own feet
He doesnt mind that when we dance I'll be moving to some other random beat
or how when I want to sit down I somehow miss my seat

He says he loves my curves
which was hard to understand b/c I've always seen them as some sort of curse
But he loves the way they shape into my clothes 
He loves the outline they make from my head to my toes

I love  how when we quarrel
we get closer
he never hesitates to listen and it makes my eyes glisten with tears
I never thought myself to be this blessed in years. 

He is the definition of unconditional love
He is the mirror of the man that is sent down from above
I never have to fear that my mistakes will result in rejection
His gift is  his soul, not just a section
He sees my flaws as my perfections
He wants to take me as I am with no corrections
He wants me to feel like I deserve our perfect selection....

He said he is going to love me
He will love me with my flaws and all.....




Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

Three years ago, I would have heard this song and not cared due to not having a means to relate to it
One year ago, I would have been crying my eyes out at just hearing its melody.
Two months ago, I would have loathed the thoughts that came to mind as I reminisced though its words
But now.. I feel like I this song reflects the view as I look at my life from the greener grass on the other side.

I used to twirl in the "what could be's" and the "what if's" like obsessing over old news was going to somehow make a difference.
The instrumentals of this piece weave a fabric of passion that is equally aggressive as it has an upbeat tempo, but soft as it has the muted brass and the strings in the counter melody., illustrating the fervor and its counterpart of affection. The bass and the drums setting the pace... symbolizing the inevitable passing of time progressing to something and gaining further substance with each step.... And the electric and acoustic guitar along with the piano unfolding the running solo of the piece showing how two unique feelings can blend into unison.....

The words of the song are a mere reflection of my heart now. It is in effect equal, but opposite. I am the same person to the extent of my superficial personality, but my heart has changed. My core has changed. Its been totally washed clean with the love of Christ. I don't see sadness or despair, I see my journey... away from the issues that kept me so grounded in a non productive way, and towards something much farther, and much higher... I recognize how those things that affected me in my past only paved my way to where I stand now...


I cant tell you how great the view is

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

Im really annoyed.


There has only been one person who I can say broke my heart, and it has been years of back and fourth with this person. Trying to to learn to forgive him. But through the fast, I realized, I can forgive him without really needed to be with him or talk to him. And I haven't been happier since. 

Its not that I dont love him.. I really do. But its no fun having your heart taken advantage of and treated a way that I dont deserve. 

So right as things were going well for myself emotinally, he started to try and initiate contact with me again. And Ive had some weak moments. More than I would want. But in a nutshell, people will only change when they want to. And I really dont want to change or have someone change for me. We both have someone out there who will love us genuinly as we are right now. As we both progress in our lives, we may be able to be with eachother. But right now (as if the constant bickering, lack of consistent communication and/ understanding is enough proof allready) we cant be together. 

I really would like to just be his friend. We have changed alot over the years. Our values, our personalities, our interests. I feel like I dont even know him anymore, and that he doenst know me. We lack a dynamic chemistry. We both have the habit of wanting to emotionally capture the feelings respective to the prime of our past relationship, when we have so far deviated from our old selves. We are not the same people. And there is no point in trying to mold ourselves into someone who isnt who we are at heart.

These are all some obvious arrows pointing to why we cant and should not be together right now, or even entertain the idea.  Im loosing ways to explain this too him, and everytime I do try, he has a hyper release of testosterone and runs away. Which doesnt flow well with my emotions either. 

So Im taking each action and inaction  from him into account, and continuing to move on in my life not expecting anything from him, and not requiting any actions or respect I didnt not recieve in the first place. So in other words, I'll make a judgement on where my heart should be by observing his actions. So due to the fact that his actions are doing nothing at all to be positively emotionally stimulating, I dont feel obliged to do anything about it. :)

So enough with the rambling.

peace!