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I AM NOT YOUR EX

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

Dating, is a complex and intricately designed form of courtship with very specific expectations by both parties, with hyper elusive guidelines and boundaries. 


Some religions and beliefs have made the courtship system have specific steps in an orderly process to make things somewhat uniform. Somewhat, providing a more defined grasp of that haphazard walk on the the thin lines  of shared emotions. 

Modern society has moved away from the traditionalist courtship theologies, and has sided more so on along the side of "self", everyone one chooses which best suits them. Its good, because more of the couples who are happy, are genuinely happy, rather than  just content. 

I agree, everyone should be genuinely happy with whom ever it is they decide to be with. I feel like dating is a mechanism driven to help narrow down the choices and help define who it is who should be "the one". But i dont think its fair to date around. 

Unfortunately, modern dating has made people date more in terms of "quantity". I feel like the more people a person dates, the more people the next girl/guy has to be compared to. Its a scrutinizing, and unfair balance.

I understand, if you touch a red burner on the stove once, you learn its hot, and thats it. No one needs to remind you of that. However, with the elusiveness of dating already predetermined, its hard to useless to use the the "if this, then that" method of comparison. 

I can see where someone is coming from where they "don't want to make the same mistakes twice" or "go through 'that' again", but, how can anyone be really sure? No two people are the same, its understandable to evaluate things this way in terms of the physical world, but its almost ignorant to evaluate emotions in the same manner. 


I feel like if you cant openly date someone with out comparing them to someone of your past, you're probably not over them.

The whole "quantity" thing.. I feel like expectations for dating have gone lower.I feel like my peers expect less from dating, so they don't put in as much effort or value it as much. I cant say I haven't feel into that hole before.. it wasnt fun. I appreiciate a man that really likes to get to know me for me, and like me for all I am and all im not, and value me as a singular person, and not so much by comparison.

Example:
One person I dated recently, I feel may be a victim of this. Everything I said or did, had an alternative question. For example, if I said something like "I'm tired, I'm going to go to bed", his response would be " Oh, so you  don't wanna talk to me then?". Or a better example " I need to call *insert male friends name here*" his response was "Oh, so that's your new boo?"  -__- really?

Its like he felt like everything I said, or did had an alternative motive other than the simplicity of the situation right in front of him. It makes me feel like, he attached general things I said, to specific moments of his past.  I feel like comparing people to others of ones past, makes simple things like this more complicated. Leaving two people to be less engaged and cohesive, therefore limiting the depth of the relationship, if it even gets that far. It really stunts the potential for growth because the other person already subconsciously limits the extent of how far the courtship can go by comparing it to something that was non-effective. 

 

Dating is so much more fun and exciting when you get to appreciate everything that person is, for YOU. Your ex, is your ex for a reason. Get over it, and move on. 



thanks

-me




 

my new zodiac sign

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

A while ago there was  a twitter craze about a new zodiac sign, and it sparked some curiousity. I investigated and discovered that I fall under the new 13th sign : Ophiuchus. I find it to be fate as he first three letters are apart of the root of my name "soph", which translates to "wisdom". Here are some more traits I found





LIST OF KEY WORDS DESCRIBING THE SIGN OF OPHIUCHUS



  • interpreter of dreams, vivid premonitions,
  • attracts good luck and fruitful blessings,
  • serpent holder, lofty ideals,
  • a seeker of peace and harmony,
  • doctor of medicine or science, natural-pathic,
  • adds, increases, joins, or gathers together
  • poetical, inventive nature, expanding qualities,
  • seeks higher education and wisdom,
  • overseer, supervisor of work,
  • fame - either grand, or completely misunderstood,
  • longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man,
  • architect, builder, reaches for the stars, figuratively and literally,
  • tax assessor, or levys taxes,
  • astrological talents, intuitive, 
  • large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young,
  • the number twelve holds great significance, 
  • foresight and good fortune to benefit from hard times,
  • has secret enemies in family or close associations,
  • many jealous of this subject,
  • notable father, apple of father's eye when young,
  • high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death
  • feelings of granular, wise, genius mentality,
  • likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors, and plaids in particular,
  • receives the favor of those in authority.
I really like my new sign. And it explains a lot

#thatisall. #subtweet


BROWN SUGAR

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

I'll be your guitar, I'll let you play my heart strings
Wind me up, to tone me down
so you can make my soul sing

Your hands bring a multitude of melodies
Leaving my body vulnerable so that you can envelope me
I hear the symphony swelling up inside of me
My cries resonates louder than a crack of lightening
Equally exciting as it is frightening
im so exposed yet so connected
so revealed, yet to protected,

My feelings cant help but be projected, so I scream.
Never new bliss like this existed outside of dreams.
View is so foggy from the steam
So we close our eyes to be driven by the passion.
Curiosity has got my obscurely yet securely fastened
on this roller coaster ride soaring tin the plethora of possibilities
Uncharted lands unfathomed galaxies

Until i snap back to reality when I hear your voice thunder
your grip gets tighter as I grow weaker
Your carried me to the submit and the mountain looks steeper
So you dive deeper
But not before I'm brought to my hands and knees
the feeling is so great that i plead
And I'm not sure if this is a blessing or a curse
And if both, which is first
because the climax approached and it felt so good it hurt
But the exhale conquered the tension, and we were at a tranquil state of ease
I let your eyes caress me until i drifted off to sleep ..




I'll be your guitar, Ill let you play my heart strings
Wind me up, to tone me down
so you can make my soul sing

mad black woman complex

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

Just a thought... 




The "mad black woman complex" irritates me. Its this socially accepted source of doubt that almost dehumanizes black men. In todays culture, if there is a problem, there is a black man to blame it on.  Conversely, a woman should be a man's biggest supporter, backbone, and greatest source of encouragement. If black women were really the Christian following women as they generally claim to be, they would know this. (Check out Ephesians 5 )  This blame game has made black woman look victimized, and has provided one more thing to blame black men for. Its almost like a catch 22, society doesn't expect any good of them, no one supports them to do well, and so they lack the source of motivation to do otherwise. Take a look around, alot of successful black men, have a strong, supportive woman beside him. Recognizing this does not condone or excuse domestic foul-play on a mans part or womans part, but I do see a  social correlation.  With most of black men in America spending some sort of time in jail, where were the black woman, who were supporting them to not make those bad choices. Yes there are woman struggling to raise babies on their own, but where were the mothers that could help their sisters in their times of need instead of criticizing eachother, just adding fuel to the fire to raise men that dont know how to take care of their families. 

So now that I have framed the gruesome picture of the negative trending relationship of the Black American male and female, lets relate that to a more specific issue. 

When did it become ok for a MAN to hyper- inflate this issue and market off of the "mad black woman" anger? 

Tyler Perry has created a film empire from marketing to angry black women.  I think its great to identify a womans stuggle, however, where are the films that touch on the accomplishments in the black community?  If someone would spend half of the effort used to create some sort of media source that highlighted black accomplishments, I feel like there would be an even further sense of pride and accomplishment for our people. Making movies about mad black women, is just buying in to what the old Jim Crows wanted. They wanted minorities to feel so low, that they hated themselves. 

I think as black woman, we have a responsibility of uplifting our men and we need to not be so quick to add money in the pockets of a man who claims to fully grasp a womans story.  I feel like I would feel more at ease to watch a Tyler Perry movie if he actually showed more of what the Black man's struggle is really about, rather than promoting this pretentious idea that black men are inherently bad and black women will inherently struggle. If we take charge to uplift ourselves, then I think the world will start to recognize our strengths as strengths of our own inspriation. The way black  strength as a whole is characterized is that the strengths are more of a reaction to some sort of indirect/direct struggle. Im not saying that the struggles dont exist, but it discredits our own will power.  If we invest in positivity for our own people, the would be more positive outcomes.  Some struggles are more easily prevented by not giving them attention, but there always has to be some sort of alternative to replace whatever that is. For example, if we dont want to have our sons repeating the lyrics of popular rap songs, stop buying them, and stop letting little girls characterize themselves according to them, and provide something or encourage more alternative and holistic sources of entertainment....


We need to be proud of who we are, and its about time we start showing it .



just a thought,
@sophiacamille

black consciousness vs black pride

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

Its a unbalanced subject, that is clothed in terminology with two total different meanings, but are somehow used interchangeably.

To me, black consciousness is more of "cultural awareness". Meaning, knowing your roots, expressing your culture and sharing it with others. Black pride, if used in its polar view, can practically be synonymous with "racism". Its evoking a sense of pride in saying that one culture is better and more affluent.

I feel like it is important to know who you are to have a sense and a purpose behind your goals. I equally feel like it is important to be very proud of these things as well.

The "n" word, to me lies on this balance beam. Some people use the term freely as they feel that it lies within the parameters of "dialect", in a more of a "black pride" view. Others, on the black consciousness view, may see the "n" word, as something no one should use, given the basis of its origins.

Is either side right?

The conflict between the usage of this term has made the black pride vs black consciousness dispute even more polar sided. Its interesting to see how one term can divide a man against man... WHAT'S THE SCENARIO!?


just a thought,
@sophiacamille


the moon

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments




On my way home I realized something: the moon is a perfect symbol of my life .



I have a lot of things that have taken a toll on me withing my lifetime thus far, however, as the moon still stands whole with its multitude of craters, I too still remain in my entirety, well rounded no matter how much things have changed. All of the experiences I have had, have shaped me into the unique person I am. I just revolve in my own orbital living in sync with my own necessities and clearly aware how my actions affect my self and others.

The moon shines greater than any star in the sky. Its larger and more recognized as the stars are just fiery balls waiting to implode on themselves. I am finding this comparison reflective of the relationship i have with some people in my life now. I never make a conscious effort to outshine or outdo others for the sake of selfish self gratification, but my accomplishments of just helping others, and embracing the gift of humility that comes from it, has allowed me to not have to work so hard to be noticed. People notice me for what I do, not who I am. People who focus more on who they are, normally get really heated and worn out and eventually give up on whatever it was they were attempting to recognized for.

This doesn't mean that I am not proud of my accomplishments. I have no problem of saying so. I really am happy for all that i have done, but I am more happy knowing that my accomplishments have helped more people than just myself.

So as I am venturing on for the rest of my senior year, I am proud to move on in my process to become a member of a service sorority of like minded girls who care about maintaining a life time commitment of  helping others, and have a sense of pride in doing so.  We all have been shaped and uniquely unified into one well rounded unit, and like the moon, outshine the self centered individuals who wish they had a heart like ours.


just a thought,
@sophiacamille

whats the point?

Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

If we all ask this question a little more, I can assure your thoughts will be more collected and your mind more rested. We often spend a lot of time spinning a movie reel in our minds of past occurrences, trying to make sense of the feelings that developed within the situation and trying to decipher the thoughts another person or others involved had. But how can we honestly move on from a situation, when we are busy thinking about what happened within it at a non-relevant time? How can we really forgive a person, if we devised our own assumptions on their unrevealed thoughts. 


We spend entirely too much trying to make sense of the things that are unknown.


For the things we really cant figure out, we apply a sense of fear. "Fear of the unknown" sounds very cliche but it is very true. We hold grudges and get defensive over things that are beyond our control or really dont need to be controlled in the first place. Our lives are an every changing kaleidescope of experiences, but the one thing that make them easier to live with is recognizing patterns and applying them. 


Our lives are entirely shaped by patterns that are learned and discovered though an array of different experiences. Most of the patterns we discover are intentional, repetitious, and can be willingly recreated. For example: talking, walking, writing, etc. These are all examples of things we have learned how to do through practice and experience and they have helped us to adapt to different things like holding a conversation and running. Each action has its own respective purpose. We learn to walk so we can run. We learn to talk so we can learn to relate. But what do we do about bad experiences?




The common thing to do when in a bad situation, is to just "forget about it".  Not to say that anything that causes stress should be avoided, however, why go through something and not identify its purpose?


Seeing purpose in the results of bad situations,relationships, and experiences,has let me see the character ive gained and the lessons learned. 


 Observing purpose in all I do has let me move past a bad situation knowing that, no matter how much I may think I lost, I gained a unique experience that can be used to relate to someone else. I gained character, and I gained a lesson learned. It makes a huge difference to keep your mind sharpened in this particular way so that when you reflect on the past bad relationships you have, your thoughts will be more oriented among positive and progressive thoughts. 


So in conclusion, if you want to better understand people, start to evaluate them by their purpose. People have played a roll in your life whether it was good or bad. It has shaped you in some way. If you cant think of a way that they have benefited you and you dont think you can gain any type of knowledge from the situation or person... move on.




Its really just that simple 




and just because, here is some robin thicke