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Posted by sophia - - 2 comments

In search for the answer
In search for the key
It's more than a want, its a need for me to analyze and make sense of this....

In this greed I hastily try to pick up all the pieces of what's left of me
Save myself from the regrets that has prevented me from
Opening my passion
Like open heart surgery I gave you all I could
put it all on the table til I flat lined into this agony
Purely ironic 
 I should have known all along
As I watched all my truths bleed out before me
Dripping out with these sycapated lessons learned
Leaving a bloody trail to the murky pool of emotions I wade in.

These thoughts hang above my head like some omnious cloud
Shrewed as I try to shelter myself behind crude words
Crowding myself behind a facade to mask the hurt
But the rain keeps pouring on
and on , and on for days
Eroding the land beneath me,
Soaking it until I feel like I'm sinking
So my immediate reaction is to run away

5 miles
8.04 Kiliometers
26400 Feet
316800 Inches
10000 Steps
I still can't get you out my mind

I try and I try but I cant grap the next phase ahead without a whiplash

As the strings of my past hold me steadfast
Staring into your eyes
Thinking about that final kiss goodnight
Wanting to hold you tight
Wishing I could just push rewind and pretend that this isnt real
But the wheels cant move fast enough

They say memories help pass the time

But, It has been 8 nights.
192 hours
11520 minutes
691200 seconds
And I still want you here

How many more sleepless nights
How many more lonesome cries
Maybe this is all a lie and I'm blinded by a fog of regret.
Maybe because this truth is too large of a pill to accept.
This path before me is lined with shards of fear.
And I wish that you can lift me and take me "there"
With "there" being wherever you are.
I miss you, I want you, but I dont need this.

This cyclical motion of regret is grinding away at my patience as
I wait for you to understand that the

54 Gallons
432 Pints
6912 ounces of gas I spent to see you this past month "just because" was not in vain.
I just wanted to be near you
Knowing that at the end of the day at least one of your smiles was attributed by my affection
But somehow we shifted directions and  with each painful advance I hope that maybe these unanswered prayers will draw a conclusion
Perhaps this is all an illusion and this haze ahead of me will become reflective of more clarity
Maybe this is just a rarity
A one time occurance that will soon pass because
I feel like being ignorant to the situation
Imagining this is a breach to my reality and it shall not last.
But my guise can't remain its soldarity as we continue to cross paths

In search for the answer
In search for the key
It's more than a want, its a need for me to analyze and make sense of this.
But I guess I have to move on from this romantic postulate.  

2 Responses so far.

  1. Junior says:

    WOW!! I can really relate to this! This is amazing Sophia! I love it! :-)

  2. aamela says:

    I like!Really shows what women go through with men. smh.