i heard this song today and it has been stuck in my head.. but im not complaining :)
it made me think about how far i have come and how far i will reach.
i did some more networking today, and my father had me sit back and refelct on all the people i have ment, the things i have done, and the goals i have set for myself.
he had me recognize that everything that has occured has happend for a reason
its just up to me to do something with it....
una nueva vida.- a new life.
Last week I recieved an annonymous message from a reader saying that I do not put enough heart into my writings and that my poems were vaugly descriptive. At first, I had the classic human response and I was offended. Then I really did reflect on what I read and now I can honestly admit: I agree. Im pretty emotionally reserved in person, so I my writings followed my personality.
My previous blog posting was for that special reader out there. I apprieciate you. Your critisism now has mostivated me to further strech my writing. This was a true challenge. I had to draw from alot of different situations and places withing my heart that I have left pretty covered. So I hope you enjoyed it.
So now, I am going to continue this literary momentum and see how things flow.Starting now...
So I am putting a halt on this whole dating thing... or at least there is a man that can do something so surmountable to have me convinced otherwise. ( try being honest about your feelings for once, just a thought)
Ive been especially discouraged because of a statement made by a friend of mine. I was speaking with a him in regards to dating, and how I was clearly hurt by a recent dosage of "heart ache". His response was for me to date other guys at the same time, scatter my options, play different cards.
Some people pride themselves on "having game". Quite frankly, that is one area that I dont wish to excell.
Really people, think of all the people who boast about having game.... they are most likely SINGLE or ABOUT TO BE. just sayin.. ;o) things like that dont last if they ever start in the first place.
peace and love
This one is for all those who have experienced heartache
I say heartache and not heart brake because as a good friend said
no one deserves to have the chance to damage that of which I live from
I name this damaging force "Love"
Recently my Love within me has passed
Here is my eulogy... 'til we meet again
He hears wisely
Yet retains little
He expects much and gives fickle hints of his mind
Had I recognized all these things, I would not feel as if I wasted time.
HE talks but WE do not speak
because his insecurities are an omnipresent force
dragging us to two polar sides in this world of emotions
I stood before him
almost too weak to bring breath to my lips which quivered
because all I could do is stare into his eyes
and reminisce on a kiss just two days old.
I asked him,"why?"
I told him I could barely sleep at night
as this question provided a monotonous stab into my brain
And on this bright day
the sun was just a burning reflection of myself
I burned with anger
I burned with hope
I burned with denial
unable to cope with the sad reality that the end was marked with
he shining strand on my cheek
from a lone tear
I told him I feel used
Like my emotions were abused
as to lift his ego on the stilts
comprised of my cries
as my trust was compromised
He was unshaken
stood confidently
in the ill supported excuse used to back away
and shade his pride
He responded,"I don't know"
This masked interrogative statement
thrashed with the walls
of my wishful thinking
which also happened to house what is now an empty crevice in my chest
My heart pounded in my hand
balancing on my frail fingertips
I was weak. No longer nourished by the memories
or material token of affection
As I returned the fitted shirt that still smelled of him
I realized all I held on to
went away as quick as it came
My hand hung and lingered in the air
wondered how this was fair of a lady of my quality.
how is it that I blindly treaded on the rocky path these girls paved before me
to see that it only lead to a mound of disappointment.
how I wish I could be the ointment to smooth the tough skin he hides in
How I pray for the the day he can live free from the shackles of his past.
I turned around and walked away.
Late that day
I returned back to that same place to find:
Love is far gone
the inevitable is near
in fact
its here
it spoke softly in my ear and told me have no fear
for there is someone waiting on me to come through the door
and drink from the fountain of which his heart pours...
So, yesterday I had the honor of being an opening poet for Charles Andres Gomez. He is one of the best living poets I know of. I was nervous as anything but suprisingly, once I stepped on the stage, all the midget doing jumping jacks in my stomach called down.
It was one of my best preformances thus far. Im starting to get a feel for the stage and want to continue.
I chose to share two short love poems because they are easy to relate to and I did not have to worry about not engaging the auidance. They all really liked it.
SO! mission accomplished
there isnt much to say, this playlist is ill!! its awesome! peep it!
I have learned one thing this week which has fortified my purpose in life, and maybe altered on what I will consider as my methods of action.
I am a pleaser. On the outside looking in, I bend over backwards for people. I care too much. And I'm too sensitive. Really, I just love to care. I like to be there for my family and friends.
I told someone today that I usually tend to take peoples' actions and care about peoples' feelings more seriously than others can comprehend.
He told me to stop.
I said I can't. I do there for I am.
Its like this : How can I just stop being who I am. I believe every person's actions are tied to a personal reason. I don't think people wake up and do things throughout the day with out having some sort of motivation.
I can't stop because I don't walk around with out a purpose....
