@sophiacamille

This one is for all those who have experienced heartache
I say heartache and not heart brake because as a good friend said
no one deserves to have the chance to damage that of which I live from
I name this damaging force "Love"
Recently my Love  within me has passed
Here is my eulogy... 'til we meet again

He hears wisely
Yet retains little
He expects much and gives fickle hints of his mind
Had I recognized all these things, I would not feel as if I wasted time.

HE talks but WE do not speak
because his insecurities are an omnipresent force
dragging us to two polar sides in this world of emotions

I stood before him
almost too weak to bring breath to my lips which quivered
because all I could do is stare into his eyes
and reminisce on a kiss just two days old.


I asked him,"why?"

I told him I could barely sleep at night
as this question provided a monotonous stab into my brain
And on this bright day
the sun was just a burning reflection of myself
I burned with anger
I burned with hope
I burned with denial
unable to cope with the sad reality that the end was marked with
he shining strand on my cheek
from a lone tear

I told him I feel used
Like my emotions were abused
as to lift his ego on the stilts
comprised of my cries
as my trust was compromised

He was unshaken
stood confidently
in the ill supported excuse used to back away
and shade his pride

He responded,"I don't know"

This masked interrogative statement
thrashed with the walls
of my wishful thinking
which also happened to house what is now an empty crevice in my chest

My heart pounded in my hand
balancing on my frail fingertips
I was weak. No longer nourished by the memories
or material token of affection

As I returned the fitted shirt that still smelled of him
 I realized all I held on to
went away as quick as it came
My hand hung and lingered in the air
wondered how this was fair of a lady of my quality.
how is it that I blindly treaded on the rocky path these girls paved before me
to see that it only lead to a mound of disappointment.
how I wish I could be the ointment to smooth the tough skin he hides in
How I pray for the the day he can live free from the shackles of his past.

I turned around and walked away.

Late that day
I returned back to that same place to find:
Love is far gone
the inevitable is near
in fact
its here
it spoke softly in my ear and told me have no fear
for there is someone waiting on me to come through the door
and drink from the fountain of which his heart pours...