@sophiacamille

I grew up as the Supreme Nerd Girl. I still am pretty nerdy. I was drum major in the band, apart of three academic groups, always on honor roll, and looked like the geek I was. I would provide pictures but I don't want to put you through that agonizing expirience.

So, I grew up. Things about me changed. I went from the girl being generally unnoticed, to actually wanting to date me. I wanted to be noticed so badly. It finally happend, and now, I'm kinda sick of it.

I realy don't want another guy to think that calling me pretty, showering me with any type of similar compliment excessivley will get any type of footage towards a relationship with me. Now, I am not saying I dont apprieciate the occasional compliment, however, attempting to adrorn me with typical banter and pickup lines that someother girl prolly heard just a few days ago.... not gunna work.  I just feel like if the only nice things a guy can say to me are on a physical basis then that means he probably doesn't care about much else anyways.

Compliment my mind. Talk to me. I like good converstation. I really apprieciate the guys that take the time to understand me and not just treat me as a lady should be treated, treat me like I (Sophia) should be treated. It makes such a huge difference.

I am working on the my ultimate love poem. This will be fore the man that will hold my heart. I don't know who he is yet, but I can't wait to find out.

I want him to make me feel like  this.......

This is a first. i have never written a poem directly in my blog. I normally write it in a personal journal and after a few days of editing, if i decide, to share it, it comes here.  Here is my unedited attempt to poetically respond to the story of this song with a little help of past personal expiriences. this is as raw as it gets. enjoy.

I have had enough.
 I'm tired of the tears.
I'm tired of the anger.
 I'm tired of being belittled and having my emotions tried
and my heart tied in a knot.
 as if I have forgot all the painful lies and sleepless nights where i cried way to a williowing clutter of confusion. 

We lack fusion and depth of a relationship is a far distant illusion.
We parted and never found a solution
 so were are just a solute with undissolved tension
I approach the next step with apprehension
I approach the next move with tactful words
because I know what hurt they bring
I know the magnitude of its power
as the fury rolls on


You say feelings are unjustifiable means of proof
but what happens when my feelings are true
When they're all about you and nothing makes more sense than the way I do and do not feel about you
I am in no means confuzed
In no way unsure
I've never been one to ever give up so this will be a first....


I'll move on to were all the worries are gone and I can live free in the comfort of a bright future.
where my soul can be housed in the hands of the deserving.
 with this I bid you adieu, but before I conclude
 i want to wish you all the best 
dont you forget
 I will always love you.

just a thought......


What really makes an individual "individualistic"?

Our ears are always flooded with these phrases - Be yourself, be unique, stand out, etc.


What doest that really mean? Why does it matter? Why should I care?

I dont believe this at all. We are a very self driven and cocieted society. "Daring to be different" is not anything new in the jist of it. There is not much one can do to be hailed as a revolutionary unless they do something the world has never seen, heard, or had the confidence to change. That is what makes people like Martian Luther King Jr. So revered. And even then, it still took the support of many to make such an impact. So to all of those futuristic nut huggin pants swaggin guys and "i wanna be a Barbie" girls out there, YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING SPECIAL. get over it.

We are all really quite the same.

Lets take a look at human anatomy. Or even further into the topic :genetics.
There are few genes ( around a dozen) that regulate the outcomes of our bodies. On those genes, there are extremley subtle differences that actually make us phyically and physiogically distiguishably different. For example one strand on one gene with differentiate one of the many factors that determine skin color. All of these differences are so slight that it if you were to compile all the differences between one human being to the next, we would be at least 90% the same. These slight differences in phenotype creates an increased chance for overlap, which is why there are people who have such similar qualities of the body internally and externally. ( ie why some people look alike and have the same diseases) The variation of these traits are sometimes expected more than others when comparing dominant and recessive genes, yet still the differences are slight. Some of these slight changes make large impacts, such as the single strand of variation that can cause a mulititude of different mental illnesses or physical disabilities. Physiologically we are really quite similar. We are all made of the same elements. All conisited of about 96% water, meet the same chemical needs for survival, forgo the same internal chemical reactions.


As far as psychological and social individuality, its more of a humanistic way to attempt to capture pride of one's self = FASHION. Even still the differences are not that varied or vast. Fashion is really just a long winded series of small changes to eventually make something "new" or "trendy". For example, people wanted to wear bell bottom jeans for long time, and they slowly gained lesser approval as fashion designers favored a more slim legged pant. So its still jeans and look practically the same until you compare the portion below the knee. Being "fashionable" in its self is just following a social norm, diminishing the thought of being unique. There may be pieces, items, or hair styles that are less common, yet still follow the social trends of the time for the most part.

There was a girl that was sitting in one of my classes. Her hair was so spikey I could barely see over the top of her head. I wanted to move seats, but there were no more seats left. I asked her if she didnt mind moving over to the left or right so that I could possibly see a little better. She refused, grew angry and proceeded to tell me how sick she was of people " not apprieciating her individuality". She felt like me asking her to move herself so that her head was out of my path of vision to view the notes on the board, was really a stand against her "self expression"....
SIGH

I really dont know how her spikey hair makes her more individualistic than the other gillion people that have spikey hair. And what does that have to do with me needing to see the board infront of me.



This pychosocial phenomena of individualism leads to a greater social force of nationalistic views. Having pride in ones self and people that they identify with is a great part of maintaining culture and heritage, however, I just feel like everyone's great desire to be "individualistic" is really jus tthe same persuit in a different facade. Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone wants to be seen. Everyone wants their "uniqueness" to count for something. But if you strip everyone within a culture down to is minimalistic needs of staining qualities, we would all be the same really. Why not embrace those similarities instead of going through this constant differation and segregation?

The fact that we all have something that makes us "unique" is a quality. And the fact that we all share this quality is a uniform trait. 

so...

All those lines of division to create "fashion" is all from a consensus of interests anyways....  so why does it really matter?

just sayin


sophia camille