Posted by sophia - - 0 comments

My wise friend told me today that my gift is compassion.

unfortunatley my compassion is a double edged sword. it is effective when it is used with the right people, but kills me when in the hands of those who dont deserve it.

I have been questioning the reason for alot of people who have come and go in my life recently (especially this past labor day...). I think it was so that God had a plethora of examples already laid out for me.

This past weekend my heart matured. I see that there are some people who need need my love but don't deserve my direct compassion. I have the constant feeling of being used and worn by friends because I keep expecting them to show the compassion I show them. I no longer have tolerance for those who are selfish and incapable of seeing the world beyond their own perspective. Im tired of being pulled and tugged emotionally.

beyond friendships, I dont want to date a man who cannot uplift me. I have made the mistake of trying to date a man with a unmended heart. I really believed that i could fix it, that i could really make his heart all better... I and no one else can change the way people are.

some people say that it is too ironic that the ones who are the most open hearted get hurt the most. i now think not. We are honestly OPEN hearted. We are increasingly more vulnerable to emotional pain than those who keep their hearts guarded.

I'm not saying that I am going to cave undera boulder,but I think the final release of those who have leached off of my love will have to be severed out of my life, and that too is not ironic at all.